Chance.
Rose: you're brilliant. always remember that.
me: I'll try.
Sent at 10:37 PM on Tuesday
Rose: there is no try, there is only do.
me: Right, Yoda.
Rose: ahhh the reference you get
me: Too far.
Rose: got it
me: Thanks
Rose: OK I'll go to bed.
me: Don't go on my account.
But if you're tired, by all means sleep,
no comma.
I'm busy texting with Zoe anyway.
Rose: my eyes feel like they're drying up in their sockets
me: That sounds unhealthy.
And it's why I keep eye drops on me forever.
Rose: I'm sure that's more enlightening than I can be
the zoe encounter, that is
me: Well you know... she IS going to London for spring break.
And writing on my Facebook wall 56 times a day.
Fucking grown up.
Rose: for real?
me: Yes.
Rose: sweet. maybe I'll see her there.
me: You going to London, Jetset?
Rose: One never knows . . . .
me: But funny thing: she tells me she had a "crazy" day, so I asked her what she did other than get chosen to go to London, and she said, verbatim: "dance (pointe ballet hip hop). cross country. babysitting. SCHOOL. social life."
She's Mini-Me.
Rose: have you seen her lately? she's gorgeous - yes, your moni me
mini me - sorry.
me: I know she's so beautiful it's incredible.
I tell her that frequently.
As she continues to post photos of her insane social life.
Did I tell you the Christmas Conflict?
Rose: That's important and very considerate and thoughtful - especially for a sophomore, eh?
me: We have a cousin-pot-smoking ritual on the day of the family Christmas party (sorry if I haven't told you about that and it's shocking).
Rose: What is the Christmas conflict?
me: And Dan and Alex want to include Zoe this year.
Rose: Ah
me: Acutally everyone does.
But me.
Because I'm conflicted about being a mentor to her and being a liaison for Betsey, etc. and smoking her up.
I don't know what to do.
Rose: I thought it was a Thanksgiving event, though
Does she get high?
me: And to address your previous message, I know that it's important and she is truly extraordinarily beautiful, for a sophomore. That is usually the height of awkward phase.
I don't know, last time I talked with her about it she didn't smoke.
She had had one drink before and didn't like it.
This is all in total confidence, of course, although I am breaching the intergenerational secrecy gap.
Rose: My brother Dan provided me with my first marijuana opportunity
though I must say, not as healthy a relationship as the one you practice.
Some day I will have to tell you about the weekend that Betsey was left in charge of the homestead.
me: Oh shit.
Rose: Not a wholesome weekend, I must say.
me: I thought that was the Bishop?
That's the story I got from your brothers, anyway.
The truth comes out.
Rose: This was in the late 70s early 80s
Definitely 1981
me: In any case, I was most certainly told that all instances of parental absence were substituted with the Bishop's presence at the estate.
Rose: My battery is about to die and I am too lazy to go downstairs ang get my power cord.
me: Role model extraordinaire.
Only teasing.
Rose: that is untrue
me: Love you very much.
Talk to you soon.
You ARE an extraordinary role model.
I mean, look at me.
Rose: I love you too - I owe you a story. though it may horrify you
me: Well after the story about the night I was conceived, I think I'm safe from being horrified.
Rose: Alright, when I disappear mysteriously (hi Nance) it's because my computer died
me: Well I thought you were leaving anyway?
Rose: The light is flashing - you know, I'll keep typing until I get kicked out.
me: Well I'm thinking about absconding to Kennebunk to roll with Zoe for the day on Sunday.
Does that sound like a good idea?
Rose: That sounds like a great idea.
Sent at 10:55 PM on Tuesday
Rose: OK you logged off at that. I guess I have horrified you.
me: No I didn't log off
You did.
My computer tells me you logged off.
Rose: Oh, it said you were gone
me: Don't impugn my honor.
Rose: Am I still here?
me: Yes, Anne.
Rose: It is shockingly frightening the similarities given that there is no genetic connection
me: I know.
That is so promising for me.
Seriously.
Rose: and who do you wish to emulate? present company excluded?
me: What do you mean?
Anne of course
Nance occasionally
Rose: Oh
me: Pharrell
you
Rose: Nance in your moments of prolonged intoxication
me: Thanks mom
Rose: oops meant to hit back space -wasn't going to send that after reading it
Though she did have some rather extraordinary valium vacations
me: I'm taking one of those in a few years
just once
in the Mediterranean
on my double decker yacht
Rose: remember to wear sunscreen
Sent at 11:01 PM on Tuesday
me: Good advice
Rose: And thank you for the props in the emulation roster
That's what a mother is for.
the sunscreen reminder, that is
me: And emulation
Rose: Me and my computer are fading.
I did not fnish the reading for the class and have no time before Thursday at 4
me: SLEEEEEEP WELL
Rose: maybe I can intuit operant behavior
and response classifications
me: uh oh didn't do your reading?
tisk tisk
chatting with teacher via gmail?
Rose: nope.
me: Who has prolonged periods of intoxication, again?
Rose: I have been trying to catch up on the reading because I added a week late
I must admit it is interesting and is giving me significant insight to my significant other
me: How Sex & the City of you to say
Rose: At least I know which experiments he's performing on me at any given time
me: Dr. Creepy returns
Rose: that isn't as seemly as it sounds
me: I think I want to make a zombie movie called that
Rose: It's just who he is
me: He seems seemly?
Rose: He does applied behavior analysis without meaning to - or he says he doesn't
Rachel calls him Darth Vader
me: I'm Darth Vader
but he can be The Emperor
so much creepier
Rose: Well you're going to have to get out your light sabre and take him on for the title
She thinks I'm Yoda
Of course, she's princess Leia
me: Pansy
Rose: Mark is Luke Skwalker and Mike is - i don't know - one of those sand creatures
?
me: Jabba the Hut
Rose: or Bobofet
me: Or R2D2
Rose: Who is the least imaginitive in Star Wars?
Yes.
me: He can only beep
but he IS hiding the plans to the Death Star
Rose: He speaks and no one can understand him - he's definitely programmed
very astute of you, Ms. whitmore
Sent at 11:14 PM on Tuesday
Rose: OK, I said I was going to sleep 45 minutes ago - why won't my computer die?!
multiple punctuation annoys me.
me: I don't know because it is striving to maintain our connection
and waiting for you to tell me about Betsey's weekend.
Rose: I did tell you - it was the bed check. Of course it involved cocaine, pot, booze, late nights and unexpected company
but I would recommend not being the one to introduce Zoe to the holilday smoke fest
me: You didn't tell me about the night.
That's my inclination.
Rose: if necessary you must recuse yourself and talk her out of it
me: But I always strive not to be the most moral one in a bunch
looks like it's my turn
Rose: except when you're setting an example / being a role model
me: Right.
I have to remember it within that framework.
But I am always the fucking lame cousin.
Saraband.
http://www.deyrolle.com/magazine/
Dear Futurism,
Please arrive with Red Velvet Cupcakes, Sofia Minis, Madeline, Babar books, a Magic Eight Ball, and a charming young man who is pretty and articulate and rolls his own cigarettes.
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